Obi: Ladies and gentlemen, please have a seat…the press conference is about to begin…
Yes, it’s true that Obi’s Sister did have a office visit with her personal physician yesterday. In the interest of all fairness, and to avoid the appearance that we are hiding anything from the omnipotent press, we will announce that her physician did deem it necessary to step a blood pressure medication up to the next dosage. Otherwise, all systems were in working order. I’ll take a few questions from the floor:
Q: Can you tell us why the medication was increased?
Obi: No, I’m not sure why, I’m sure it’s a private medical matter.
Q: Is it true that her HBP is caused by her teenage children?
Obi: I really wouldn’t care to speculate on that. After all they are my nieces and nephews…
Q: Well, to follow up…. we all know that her oldest is home for college break…
Obi: And we should all be happy that the family is reunited for this joyous holiday season. Aren’t your children home for break as well?
Q: As a person of public status, will Obi’s Sister become a more active advocate for HBP?
Obi: I’m not sure I know the answer to that, but I’m sure you know that Obi’s Sister is well-versed in her own health care and will step forward as a spokesperson if she deems it necessary or is asked to do so by the American Heart Association or other worthy group. Besides, I don’t believe that being a minor anonymous blogger qualifies her as a “person of public status”.
Q: Was any blood drawn or other tests scheduled?
Obi: I really wouldn’t care to speculate on that – it’s private information between Obi’s Sister and her doctor.
Q: Did she get a sucker or any stickers?
Obi: I don’t know – but I will tell you she prefers chocolate over suckers. And stickers usually end up going through the laundry, causing great unhappiness at the gooey mess.
Q: So … let me get this straight…withholding important information from the American public…there was a conscious decision made that, okay, we’re not going to tell anybody because this is medical privacy, this is something for us, it’s not for anyone else…
Obi: Well, I don’t know, if you’ll be happy to share all your private medical information, maybe we can change it around. But I don’t think that’s appropriate, nor does Obi’s Sister. She’s got the same privacy rights when it comes to her medical information that you and I do.
Q: But was the decision made not to share it?
Obi: Yes, in the sense — let me put it this way: It never occurred to anybody that this would be a big deal. It never occurred — but suddenly everybody is all up in arms over a very small, private issue in Obi’s Sister’s over-all health.
Q: HBP can kill, can cause strokes and heart attacks. It can be very serious.
Obi: Yes, that’s true, but on this particular office visit – none of those problems were detected.
Q: But she could still — it could be a platform.
Obi: You guys are really stretching it. I mean, it is now officially a really slow news day.
Ok, thanks, folks, that’s all the time we have for questions. Have a great day. And get a frickin’ life….
