Honestly, I couldn’t make this stuff if I had to….
Ahmadinejadhoweveryousayhisstupidname is fiddling while Tehran burns. Praise Allah! In typical opposite-land thinking, the Iranian President rations gasoline in the land that is flush with oil. That should reeeaaallllly make it easier to get to work; you know that place where you become the next target of the chicks with sticks. But if you try to stop them, they will burst into flame. Really.
Evidently, the Edwards campaign is running low on cash, so Silky Pony gets the Mrs. to pick a fight with Ann Coulter. So they can make more money off of her. I don’t know which side of this fiasco looks the dumbest. UPDATE: Read Jeremayakovka’s most excellent round-up. Liberals have no sense of humor – yeah, I get that.
Putin grabs at the frozen tundra. Maybe we’ll get to see some of these in the war that will come out of it. And Cold War spy movies will be popular again. So much more interesting than JB v.9.3 blowing up a gaggle of Muslim terrorists and then bagging some babe in a tin-foil bikini.
Gates of Vienna has video of Mohammed being burned in effigy instead of the usual witch during a Danish seasonal festival. The idea here is to eliminate evil in the world for the coming year. Now my question is, did the little pyro-maniacs do all the necessary research to ensure the current effigy meet the same requirements as the first-previous torched effigy? I mean really, you must be thorough in these matters….you’d really hate to OFFEND anyone.
BEDEVERE: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
VILLAGER #1: Burn!
CROWD: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!…
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #3: Shh!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
VILLAGER #3: B–… ’cause they’re made of… wood?
BEDEVERE: Good! Heh heh.
CROWD: Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah.
RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh…
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No. No.
VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond! Throw her into the pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra– gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR: A duck!
BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically…
VILLAGER #1: If… she… weighs… the same as a duck,… she’s made of wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore?
VILLAGER #2: A witch!
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch! A witch!…
Ahem. I digress. Finally, the winner of this week’s Conspicuous Consumption Award goes to the Becks, or rather more so….Posh’s closet in the new LA digs. Read it all, and when you’ve picked yourself up from the floor and dried your tears, we’ll continue. There, now, better? First, why does David need the world’s biggest flat screen TV? Trying to overcompensate a bit, perhaps? Second, if this closet software truly scans her body, can it see through the implants? Thirdly, are the 10 security guards that live on site for keeping the neighbors out ? (Gack! Hairball!) And last, but not least, would the FugGirls pul-leeze tell me what on earth is that on his head?
Enquiring minds want to know….
UPDATE: Dear Lord, as if the closet wasn’t bad enough….