If this is The Matrix, then I call dibs on Trinity

This morning, as I sat in the dentist chair, the dentist and I had a good yuck over this.

Seems there is an Oxford professor who believes we are all living in a computer simulation.

Well – Well. If that really is the case, and since I’m a programmer of world-renown, I’m unleashing the code that will improve my environment. After all, it’s a simulation, right?

No longer do I have the body, bones and failing hormones of a middle-aged female. From now on, I’m Trinity; hot bod, cool shades, latex and all.

No longer will I suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous frizziness in the southern humidity. I will have beautiful, flowing tresses; like the biker boy n the Herbal Essences commercial. No maintenance.

No longer will I have to work for living – I hereby program my bank account to be bottomless and bounceless.

No longer will friends and family have to suffer from disease – everyone is cured! Clean test runs, every time.

No longer will my little dog have arthritis that keeps him from bounding down the stairs like he did when he was a pup.

No more leaky toilets, busted freezers, sad automobiles, dead flowers, dirty carpets, smelly laundry and cluttered houses.

And everyone gets free car insurance.

Nick Bostrom has an interesting idea – note that his thesis was published not long after the first Matrix movie. And there have been movies like that before – remember Tron? And don’t forget the Terminator movies – where rulers of the future sought to reshape their worlds by changing the past (another tenet of Mr. Bostrom’s theory).

I applaud his imagination, but I know who my ruler is. And he’s not some network admin in the future.

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