The Vanishing South

(Continuing in the AP avoidance meme)

USAToday had a recent article on shrinking towns in the Deep South. Read it and try to remember the last time you sat on the porch and listened to the crickets as night fell.

Try to remember swimming holes, stick ball, creeks with mutant frogs, riding your bike for miles on end, picking burrs out of your clothes, walking through pastures (watch out for the cow paddies!), shelling peas, snapping beans, shucking corn, hiding in a barn, catching fireflies, riding a horse, riding a tractor, chasing chickens, eating fresh-picked blackberries out of your hat, creepy boys down the road, red clay in your cleats, the smell of a well-oiled catcher’s mitt, knowing all your neighbors, white gloves at church, dinner on the grounds, homemade ice-cream, the first breeze of the day, old lady perfume, fresh cut grass, fried chicken, real Coca-Cola in the little green bottle, homemade biscuits, eating peaches so juicy they ran down your chin, the cool snap of the evening at high school football games.

Try to remember.

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Hot Off the PhotoShop

Barack Obama’s widely-touted “Birth Certificate” is a fake. (h/t Doug Ross)

And Polarik has done the geekdom footwork to prove it.

Kudos, sirs!

The Friday Swipe

Friday is to frivolity as ….

You fill in the blank. Keep it clean, please.

Gerard, the older man. Chicks dig older men. Don’t go to far, dude; who’s gonna run the party?

Anything Siggy says. Or Gagdad Bob.

Plaid condoms.

Slimeballs, unite!

GaTech White-Out vs. Cow Bells. The Cow Bells will win.

How’s that remodel working out for you, there, Al?

Only in Berkeley.

Another bastion of Southern Culture to be obliterated by corporate greed.

Today is tomorrow’s good ol’ days.

UPDATE: Sorry, Doug, I knew there was one that I forgot. (Liquid alert)

Say It Ain’t So!

My grandmother is rolling her grave on this one.

White Lily Flour factory closing (Elizabeth Lee/AJC)

By the end of the month, White Lily Flour, for more than 100 years a staple for biscuits, cakes and pies, will no longer be made in the South.

The flour has been made in the same Knoxville, Tenn., factory for 125 years, where it’s milled to produce the lightest, whitest flour around, one ideally suited for Southern favorites like biscuits. Other flours have higher protein contents, which make them better for sturdier baked goods like breads.

J.M. Smucker, which bought the White Lily brand in 2006 from C.H. Guenther & Sons, will continue making the flour at facilities in the Midwest.

The MIDWEST? Hard winter wheat? Egad.

Buy all the White Lily flour your freezer can hold and hunker down. Southerners have to have their biscuits. Anyone who has ever had a REAL southern biscuit (not those gooey messes that McDonald’s tries to pass off as breakfast fare) knows it is the closest thing to heaven besides a coconut cake from the (now closed) immortal Rich’s Bakery.

First Obama, now this. Surely, Armageddon is upon us.

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