Heaven or Hell?

(Via Obi)

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of
garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning…

Today you voted.”

Happy Halloween

STILL the best Halloween video ever made!

Swimmin’ with the Sharks

Fausta has a great post going on the LA Time’s refusal to release a video of Obama celebrating with Rashid Khalidi (formerly of the PLO) and another known terrorists.

This is the final weekend before the Presidential election, and the media is intent in hiding any information that might hurt the chances of Obama becoming President of the United States.

You know they are! I wonder what kind of deal the media has made with the Obama camp?? In return for favors to be named later? Frightening to have your Commander in Chief beholden to others, isn’t it? Massive squashing of the blogosphere is first on their list, I’m sure.

It is amazing to me that the media, on it’s death bed of credibility, continue to shill for this empty suit. Even the NYT is willing to deny their previous reporting in order to protect Dear Leader. After all, if you don’t make him glow, then off you go!

Imagine if the tables were turned and the tape contained evidence of McCain with some shady characters with less than America’s best interests at heart. Would the LAT still be sitting on the tape? It would hit the presses like some zombie hot potato!

UPDATE: Debbie Schlussel has more!

Get Used To It

So get this – I go out for lunch today, alone. I head over to my favorite taco joint. As I walk in the door, I think “Good. There’s one seat left at the counter.” Since my mama raised me right, very politely I ask if the seat is taken. The blonde to the right, says “Yes, I’m waiting for my friend that’s parking the car.”

Ok. The line is now too long. I don’t want to sit at a table by myself. So I decide to order to go. In the meantime, one of the waiters goes over to the woman and says she can’t save seats. She gives him the same story.

The parking lot is half full. Where did her friend park – Turner Field? So the waiter comes over to me and says she admitted (after some serious prodding) that she wasn’t saving the seat for anyone and that I could sit there. I told him I’d already ordered to go.

While I was waiting, mulling over the many ways I wished her harm, he came back over and we struck up a conversation. In a way, he tried to take up for her, because in his eyes she still is a customer. Albeit a bad, snotty one. And probably a lousy tipper to boot. But one thing he said to me rings true of this election and what days may await our nation. (paraphrased, of course)

“She didn’t realize she was being selfish.”

Really? A grown woman, acting like she’s in a high school cafeteria? No, YOU can’t sit there. Beside ME. You’re not cute enough, you’re not thin enough, you’re too short, I don’t like your clothes, I don’t like your shoes, I don’t like your purse, I don’t like your hair, you look like a conservative, you smell like a christian, how dare you approach me.

Shades of Miss Astor.

Again, really? A grown woman, sitting in one of the busiest Atlanta lunch spots, hogging a stupid bar stool? Seats there are primo real estate – lunchtime gold – for the 30 odd minutes you get to occupy one before the wait staff nudges you out the door. After all, the line is 50 people deep by 11:45. Is she from Mars? Or worse, Florida?

I thought about his comment all the way back to the office. After Tuesday, if Obama is elected, the nation’s leading entitlement-minded, truth-challenged, lacking-moral-fiber narcissists and their band of merry thieves will be running the show.

So no tacos for you!

God Help Us All.

The Obligatory Crybaby Gator Post

The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party kicks off tonight culminating in tomorrow’s game. Kickoff 3:30 EDT.

Just a gentle reminder to all those Gators out there, nursing that grudge all year long,

Yeah, baby, we owned you last year. And we’ll renew that subscription tomorrow.

GetThePicture says Matt Stafford is the game breaker. GPOOE, my backside. I want to see Big Tebow Tears tomorrow.

Two in a row in JAX – I like the sound of that!

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