Pledges, Dreams and Other Miscellanea

Gerard over at American Digest has the new Pledge of Allegiance, now appropriately titled “The Pledge of Maybe”:

“I “ [ Too narcissistic — Alter to “One may or may not”]

“pledge” [ Too binding, implies a commitment to something no matter what may happen to it — Alter to “hereby loan on a revocable basis”]

“allegiance” [Just far too antiquated a notion for today’s fast time. Change to: “a smidgen of one’s attention”]

“to the Flag” [ The Flag? You’ve got to be kidding. No symbols drenched in blood, betrayal, slavery, corporate greed, unbridled lust of global domination allowed. Let’s change it to “to the rainbow of diversity”]

“of the United States of America,” [ No way! We are not really citizens of the USA. We’re citizens of the, dare we say it? United Cool Nations! Strike and replace with “of the United Cool Places of One World of Really Well Meaning Persons” “Nations” had to go. See below.]

“and to the Republic” [Scratch that. It was the Republican form of government that got Bush elected. The Republic is so over. We’ll go for Direct Democracy where we all vote on everything, every day on the Internet! Delete and insert “and to the Ruling Elite of Technosavvy, Well-Educated, Nice People” Hey, you can’t let everybody in. Most people are so uncool.]

“for which it stands:” [“Stands” is too aggressive. We need a lighter touch here. Let’s say “which it may represent sometimes”]

“one Nation” [ One? Nation? Doesn’t everyone agree that the Nation-state is finito? Let’s get jiggy here and substitute “many different global cultures and traditions each one just as good as yours”]

“under God,” [ Man, this is the Big One! This is just too much to be believed. All those billions of antiquated, superstitious, unscientific, blindly believing, stupid UNCOOL people who are cluttering up OUR planet with their foolish faith — when they could be as smart as us and know, absolutely know, that there’s nothing going on in the universe except “purposeless matter hovering in the dark!”

    The UNCOOL have got to be stopped and saved from their own delusion.

This one is right out! Insert “under nothing but our own current ideas of what is cool as we choose to understand cool.”]

“indivisible,” [Way too harsh, man. Insert “and able to go our own ways at any time that makes us feel good.”]

“With Liberty” [We like this concept. Let’s flesh it out to: “With Liberty and license and free cable TV and unlimited weekend minutes.”]

“and Justice” [ An obvious typo in the original. Revert to “Just Us.”]

“for all.” [Inadvertently truncated in the original. Extend to: “for all those that agree one hundred percent with Me.”]

Read the whole thing. Then you’ll have the same headache I have. The kind of headache only spawned by an extended conversation with your teenaged child. Dang, any teenaged child for that matter. Gimme, gimme, gimme, but don’t make me responsible for anything or heaven forbid hold accountant for my choices. So, can you take me to the mall now?

That should fly very well with the pirates, lurking about at sea, waiting for a chance to pounce on America. And no love, this are NOT the dishy, Johnnie Depp kind of pirates.

The last week or so of November always brings out the extended-play version of UGA vs. Georgia Tech smack talk. Always on a continuous play-loop, it reaches the height of hyperbole when the leaves are falling off the trees and the first cold front blows in. Get The Picture reminds us of an Ol’ Dawg hero. Theron Sapp broke the drought of Georgia’s losses to the dreaded North Avenue Trade School back in 1957.

Fourth and goal was a gutsy call for a team that hadn’t scored a touchdown in four years.

You want to know how big a deal that score was? In Georgia’s long history, Sapp is one of only four players, including Frankie Sinkwich, Charley Trippi and Herschel Walker, to have his jersey number retired. Pretty impressive for a guy who only scored six touchdowns in his entire career as a fullback.

Indeed.

Fausta is still talking about Michelle Obama’s ugly election night dress. I commented on the dress here, noting

Ugly and unflattering – no matter that it is the hubster’s favorite color and subliminally sends Marxist death rays into everyone’s brain.

Ugly (go to 5:14) is just ugly, no matter what the pricetag.

The Anchoress is back from her retreat and plowing through her hate-mail. When she posted this, I laughed and laughed. I can relate, having plenty of hate-mail and nasty commentors of my own!

Ah, Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men. That is, only if you’re a liberal Democrat.

1 Comment

  1. Jillian said,

    November 18, 2008 at 1:42 pm

    Oh dear. I thought the dress was cute!

    Like


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