Is Al Gore in Town?

Dang. It is frightfully cold down here. Usually in the winter, we get a few spikes of freezing weather. A nip here, some ice there, a snow day because 3 flurries flew around in a northern county for 5 minutes, then boom – it’s spring. Several days in a row of sub-zero wind chills are highly unusual. Thank goodness there is no moisture in the air! That results in a whole different subset of car happiness. I absolutely, positively DO NOT DRIVE in that stuff.

Just like houses on the West Coast are built for earthquakes and houses in Miami are built for hurricanes, houses in Georgia are usually built as a sanctuary from the brutal summer heat and humidity. We’ve not used our fireplace in about five years. Furnaces usually run for about four months. I only own one wool sweater (I’m a fleece girl now).

I can’t help but think that perhaps Al Gore is in town. Or maybe he’s used all that money he’s made off of fake carbon-offsets to built a dastardly particle beam gun to point at the atmosphere and wreak havoc with the weather. Or worse yet, maybe he’s died and is hermetically sealed in some top-secret cryo facility. His massive brain refuses to freeze with his body and is casting about like a frantic apparition, causing chaos in the weather models. Remember when Obi-Wan died (the Kenobi, not my brother)? His force was released from his body and he became even more powerful. Hmmmmm. Regardless, just remember the one-and-only cause of bone-numbing cold – it’s the global warming, stupid.

Somewhat aside: Evidently the frigid weather has frozen some brains over at the Georgia Dome. I putter past by the venue twice a day on the long, slow slog to and from work. This morning the outdoor jumbotron read, “Congratulations to the Atlanta Falcons. 11-5 season and a birth in the playoffs.”

Snort. I guess you don’t need no fancy learnin’ to type on that there big sign. The saddest part was this: how many others sitting the traffic around me knew it was incorrect? Or even cared? Or can read/write/speak the Queen’s English to begin with?

1 Comment

  1. March 2, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    […] Gore (a favorite ’round here, see this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this) hood-winked the world. If he had any decency, he would return his Nobel Prize. Wanna lay […]


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