Hey! I want to be a Democrat, too!

Grid your loins – snark ahead.

You know, this responsible citizen gig is just not paying the rent. I have needs – NEEDS. A fancy car with a driver, a mani-pedi more than once a year, a nanny/assistant to handle my day-to-day activities, a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal stylist, someone just to manage my hair on windy and/or humid days, a beautiful home in a posh neighborhood, a vacation house or two in fabulous spots, everything paid for by those little people who think I’m up in Washington looking out for their sad, meager lives. Hell, I’d even settle for some nice towels without holes in them! Why can’t I be more like the Democrats? Luscious avarice greased by corruption and all the cash I can stuff into the garden box. Why teach my kids values and morals, when if they get coked up or knocked up, I can get my pals in the government health care underworld to handle all those inconveniences away from prying cameras and those pesky moralizing conservatives. Why honor my faith when it’s so easy to turn my back on God?

Like the boys from Armageddon, I don’t want to ever pay taxes again. That should be easy enough – I could even get nominated for some big government job.

Follow the timeline here. Daschle knew he had a tax problem last June; Geithner knew he had a tax problem no later than November. Killefer’s problem dates to 2005. Point being, none of this came as any eleventh-hour surprise to Obama’s vetters … and yet all three were nominated anyway. Exit question: Why? Killefer is expendable but Geithner and Daschle are both crucial to The One’s plans; the former’s his economic quarterback and the latter’s his point man on universal health care. If you know you’re going to have this problem with both of them, why hand the media an irresistible narrative by trying to sneak Killefer in there too? Doesn’t this make Daschle’s nomination even more precarious?

Remember Joe B said it was the patriotic thing to do – pull together and PAY YOUR TAXES. After all, it would supplement the lifestyle I want to soooooo become accustomed to.

Fausta wonders if Daschle will get the same treatment ‘everyday folk’ would get… freeze the bank accounts, seize the house, ruin their lives, you know, the usual.

Trouble like that, well, it just can’t happen to us beautiful people, can it?

The Great Anointed One admits that, perhaps, he chose poorly.

Quoth The One: “I don’t want to send a message to the American people that there are two sets of standards, one for powerful people and one for ordinary folks who are working every day and paying their taxes.” Hello?

Heaven forbid the little people find out there is another set of rules, none of which apply to them. Little trolls, keep running your little habitrail.

I really covet this raise. Can I just legislate it for myself, like they did? $174,000 for a three day workweek. They just gave themselves another raise – to $93,000 each for their petty cash accounts. Petty cash. Yeah, baby! That’s more than the average annual household income of most Americans. Let them eat cake!


Back to reality – there simply isn’t enough to go around anymore. We’ve slashed and slashed until there isn’t much left to slash. How does a regular person like me make more money? A part-time job will only put me in a higher tax bracket, reducing my net. Same for changing jobs for a higher salary. Do I sell my belongings on eBay? Rent a booth at the flea market? Start blegging here?

And like all the other little people I know, now I get to suffer for the mismanagement of others.

Legislative leaders are saying there is no way to balance the budget without requiring state employees to take a few days off next year without pay.

“You can’t get to $428 million without furloughs,” said Senate President Pro Tem Tommie Williams (R-Lyons) to the AJC. “We’ll look throughout the budget, and those we can furlough, we will.” end box

[…] Other agencies like the University System of Georgia, have been reluctant to start talking about furloughs.

University System Chancellor Erroll Davis told legislative budget writers recently that he’s “philosophically opposed to furloughs.” More than 40,000 of the state’s 100,000 employees work for the University System.

Davis’ comment did not sit well with lawmakers.

“There is a lot of pain that is going to have to be shared in the budget, and they (colleges) are going to have to participate at some point,” [Rep. Ben] Harbin said.

Why? Why ruin my house when you didn’t care enough to take care of yours?

The Anchoress has a great idea for a stimulus bill – using close to the same method that our elected officials use to come up with budgetary amounts.

…Let’s have a stimulus bill with no roundaboutation: Just give every taxpayer, no matter how much they pay or how little, a lump sum of say $67,372.42 Yes, I pulled that number out of my hat, but I’m pretty sure that’s how Mrs. Pelosi and congress do it, too.

Allow people to spend the money or make mortgage payments with it, and eliminate the many, many middlemen who are waiting around to get bailout money they’ll only mismanage, anyway.

There. That’s it. My 1-2-3 stimulus program.

1) Give all taxpayers that amount of money.
2) Make the Bush tax cuts permanent.
3) Make people who don’t pay their taxes pay them.

You have a better stimulus plan than what Mrs. Pelosi and the Congress are offering? Feel free to share it.

That would certainly pay for a certain someone’s grad school. But there I go again – thinking of someone else before myself. I’d make a terrible Democrat.

UPDATE: Erick is on the same frequency.

1 Comment

  1. September 1, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    […] first I thought, how about a little snark? But regular lurkers know there’s plenty of that here, but it’s not […]

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