Your Assignment Today, Should You Choose to Accept It

…is to get David Letterman fired. Yep, folks, it’s Tuesday and you know what that means. Useful Idiot Day at the praxeum. Surprisingly, the shy and retiring President Cupcake has been dethroned this week by the world’s dirtiest old man. Mama is mad, really mad, at this fella for joking about raping young girls, so watch out! Sir, is this the way you want to raise your son? Good thing you don’t have any daughters.

Cynthia Yockey is on a one-woman mission to deliver his pink slip. Join her (and me) in contacting CBS and their sponsors imploring to rid the airwaves of this pestilence – (info from

CBS Television / Main number: 212-975-4321
Les Moonves, President and CEO, CBS, 212-975-4545,
Nina Tassler, President, CBS Entertainment, 323-575-2747,
Mike Nelson, VP Communications, 818-655-2156,

CBS Television Studios
Lauri Metrose, VP Communications, 818-655-7223, Jennifer Solari, Executive Director Communications, 818-655-7222,
Kim Sartori, Director Communications, 818-655-7221,

Major Advertisers:
Johnson & Johnson (Listerine and KY Brand)
Main Number: 1-888-222-0182 (Johnson & Johnson Healthcare Products)
Kristina Chang, Public Relations, 973-385-4370,
Steve Schonberg, Edelman PR, 212-704-4494,

Old Navy (Parent company is Gap Inc)
Main Number: 650-952-4400
Nicole Bender, Public Relations, 415-832-2889,

Kellogg’s (Mini-Wheats)
Main Number: 1-800-962-1413 (Consumer Affairs)
Allison Costello, Ketchum PR, 412-456-3741,

Southwest Airlines
Main Number: 214-792-4847 (Public Relations)
Gary Kelly, CEO, 214-792-4000,
Ginger Hardage, SVP Culture & Communications, 214-792-6924,
Linda Rutherford, VP Communications, 214-792-4625,

Olive Garden
Main Number: 1-800-331-2729 (Guest Relations)
John Caron, Executive VP Marketing,
Grey Advertising (their ad agency), 212-546-2083

Other National Advertisers:
June 11 –Touchstone Pictures (Disney), Samsung, T-Mobile, Microsoft, Chase Bank, Pfizer (Zyrtec), Wyeth (Centrum Vitamins), Ford, Lexus, Mazda and Saturn (in addition to several of the above)

June 10 – DirecTV, MetLife, Amica, AT&T, Samsung, Verizon, Chase Bank, Aventis (Actonel), Merck (Pepcid), Pfizer (Zyrtec), Wyeth (Centrum Vitamins), Honda, Kia, Lexus, Lincoln and Toyota (in addition to several of the above)

His flip attitude about the whole affair is indicative of American’s general decline in values. Anything is permissible, especially if it’s cloaked in raunchy locker-room humor and denigrates an opponent. Even better if the opponent is female. Just look at the example in the White House.

Previously: Letterman the Lecher, Shouldn’t Letterman’s Head be on a Platter by Now?

UPDATE: Cynthia’s Handy-Dandy Fire David Letterman Kit #1 and Handy-Dandy Fire David Letterman Kit #2. Now get on it!

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