T. Boone Pickens is a Propeller Head

Dear Heavens above, do you need anymore proof that too much money can make you stupid? Tulsa World reports:

Boone Pickens already has a final score in mind for his favorite football team in its season opener: Oklahoma State 387, Georgia 24.

Like last season, when OSU ranked ninth in the country by averaging 40.7 points a game, the Cowboys are expected to again field one of the nation’s high-scoring offenses in 2009.

But putting up 387 points in one game might be too stiff a challenge even for OSU’s dynamic triplets — quarterback Zac Robinson, running back Kendall Hunter and wide receiver Dez Bryant.

To get this imperfect score, both teams would have to score 6.85 points per second minute (my notes were right, my typing was not! Ahem.).

Furthermore, to get this imperfect score, Oklahoma State would have to score a combination of 55 touchdowns, 54 extra points and 1 field goal in one hour’s official time.

See, I can do higher math.

Orson sees the utter hilarity of it all (language warning):

This will only occur if T. Boone decides to bribe the ever-loving sh*t out of every player on the Georgia roster, something he is capable of doing, and may very well attempt. Oklahoma State under Mike Gundy is 4-12 versus BCS teams; Mark Richt is 17-3, and has God’s phone number. (Though he loses it periodically, often around Halloween.) The worst blowout in history, in case you’re not fond of throwing out this $200 Jeopardy answer already, is the 220-0 blowout of Cumberland College by a John Heisman-coached Georgia Tech team.

Paul Westerdawg thanks Daddy Warbucks for providing the Dawgs with their pre-game focus:

Dear Mr. Pickens,

Thank you for making sure the Georgia football team will be 1000% focused on the season opener. Your help in motivating our players is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely – The Georgia Fans

Get The Picture also speaks of focus, or the lack thereof, and reminds Coach Gundy that massive pre-season hype can fold space and alter reality.

Womens. You can’t win with them…

Maybe we could get Stacy to order up some “distractions” for the Cowboys. I mean, this is serious stuff. Remember this is College Football we’re talkin’ ’bout here. Dawgly Honor and such.

15 days til kickoff.


  1. CGHill said,

    August 21, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Meanwhile in Oklahoma, we’re wondering “What did that nitwit say this time?”


  2. Obi's Sister said,

    August 21, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    I feel your pain. Here in Georgia, our resident loud mouth with too much money is Ted Turner.


  3. August 22, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    […] to be outdone by yesterday’s exercise in higher math at a bazillionaire’s expense, today I present the latest episode of “Fun with […]


  4. August 23, 2009 at 7:01 am

    […] I thought you’d appreciate – Richt has God’s phone number – EDSBS– 55 TDs or 6.85 points per second – Obi’s Sister– The downside of testosterone – Get the Picture– All […]


  5. Rich said,

    August 23, 2009 at 9:16 am

    6.85 points per second? Er, no.

    60 minutes X 60 seconds = 3,600 seconds.

    You meant 6.85 points per minute.


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