Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Vampires

20 bad lessons girls learn from Twilight (h/t Fausta). As if our girls aren’t confused enough by the mixed messages from media vs school vs parents vs peers, along comes Twilight to make it worse. Samples:

4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
20. Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.


  1. November 29, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Ya, get your baby Educational Toys and Gamesfor god sake!


  2. TWILIGHT FAN said,

    November 29, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Well, I love Twilight, and why crap talk a movie, when all your dang kids have to do is watch their parents these days, and see more violence than what was in that movie…you could pretty much say those same exact things about MOST movies that come out these days, not just TWILIGHT..they’re all full of sex and violence, and bad language. So, GET OVER IT…get rid of your TV, put bars and locks on your house, don’t let your kid out in public, that’s the only way, they’re not gonna see any of this stuff…


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