The Real Reason Helen Thomas Retired

Her family tree has been revealed (stellar investigative work by Mind-Numbed Robot).

“The Dark Side of the Force is the pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.” Emperor Palpatine

Best Headline of the Day

NCAA Hands USC Ticking Package, Leaves

Yes, I know it’s June, but every true Dawg is pinin’ for the Seven Notes, and every good Southern girl is already obsessing about what to wear to their school’s season opener in the fall. Linen is allowed, even after Labor Day in the SEC, because after all, you don’t want your makeup to melt all over your date’s jacket during the first quarter. Wool is rarely tolerable these days, until at least after the Vandy game, and only if the game is away, like away, way North. Like a bowl game in Michigan.

But I digress. Poor little Kiffy. NOT.

2 years of no bowl appearances. The Senator, with his usual keen insight:

In other words, if the bowl ban holds up (and I expect USC to appeal that hard), it’s open season on Trojan juniors and seniors. Between that and the reduction in scholarships, you can expect that Junior will be experiencing a few years in the wilderness. Although at least he’s being well compensated for it. Still, if you’re a Tennessee fan, there’s got to be some satisfaction in knowing that the program the Laner left has a better chance at postseason success over the next few years than where he’s at now.

That shouldn’t be all, either. To complete the just desserts cycle, if I’m Derek Dooley, I’m on a plane to Pasadena faster than you can say “it’s all part of the plan”. And the first person I’m speaking with is Mitch Mustain. Or his mama. Maybe pick up an offensive lineman or two while I’m out there. After all, pipelines can flow both ways.

I wonder if Kiffen will make it an entire season.

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