Is Obama a Secret Jedi Reject?

Kicked to the curb out of the Jedi Temple, after roaming the streets of Coruscant as a homeless youngling, he materializes in Chicago, Illinois, United States of America, Planet Earth.

His extra-terrestrial genetic structure enabled him with powers some perceived as gifts. Discovered to be a low-level Force-sensitive individual during his short Jedi training, here on Earth his meager midi-chlorian levels are sufficient to sway the weak-minded. For many Earth years, he worked behind the scenes, manipulating events and people to his ultimate goal of galactic domination. He met and married the descendant of a Gungan princess to solidify his standing with the Earth dwellers as a person deserving the respect due royalty.

After years of intimidation, bribes, prevarication and obfuscation, he hoodwinked his way into the highest office of the land, the Presidency of the United States of America. This position made him one of the most powerful beings on the planet. His quest was nearly complete. All that remained was to declare a reorganization of the US into an empire and proclaim himself Emperor and then …

The Resistance made itself known. A peaceable clan, similar in nature to Ewoks and Wookiees, they worked and lived in blissful obscurity until they felt the chilling evil creep into their everyday lives.

Sensing a disturbance in his plan for total control of all things breathing, the President turned to a media favorite of stoners and liberals, to get out his message that all was not lost. Unfortunately, the message he sent was not the message received, because, you see, other people read that magazine and deciphered his coded messages to his minions. Several snippets are compelling in that they may reveal who his original Jedi instructor was [Emphasis – admin].

“I think the Tea Party is an amalgam, a mixed bag of a lot of different strains in American politics that have been there for a long time. There are some strong and sincere libertarians who are in the Tea Party who generally don’t believe in government intervention in the market or socially. There are some social conservatives in the Tea Party who are rejecting me the same way they rejected Bill Clinton, the same way they would reject any Democratic president as being too liberal or too progressive. There are strains in the Tea Party that are troubled by what they saw as a series of instances in which the middle-class and working-class people have been abused or hurt by special interests and Washington, but their anger is misdirected.

“And then there are probably some aspects of the Tea Party that are a little darker, that have to do with anti-immigrant sentiment or are troubled by what I represent as the president. So I think it’s hard to characterize the Tea Party as a whole, and I think it’s still defining itself.”

Characterizing the resistance as bearing a darkness of motive? Really? Perhaps we should refresh our memories of one of the most horrid Sith Lords of all, who also dreamt of galactic domination.

The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

Remember him? Senator Palpatine, who (through his own decree) became Emperor Palpatine, who in reality was Darth Sidious? Consider Obama’s own unnatural rise to prominence. The Other McCain:

When is it a bad thing to place principle over party? We’ve seen this BHO more or less become the Democrat party. They’ve made politics personal, and created a demigod out of a bobblehead.

The four years of non-stop anti-personnel weaponry unleashed against W managed to state that he was both an evil, diabolical deceiver who could take Congress and country to war for fun, yet also a buffoon incapable of tying his shoes.

BHO was supposed to have been a philosopher–king who cruises in on the unicorn and dashingly dispels despair. Yet in stark contrast, he stands revealed as somebody who fights back. . .with his hands firmly entrenched in his pockets. “Don’t make me campaign on you with the Teleprompter of Death, punk.”

Could Obama have been secretly tutored, then rejected as unsuitable, by Darth Sidious himself? It appears he scored highly in his lower-level “mis-direction” lessons, but evidently he never made it to the upper-level courses of “finishing what you start.” Could the incessant whining have been his downfall?

In November he will feel the sting of a nation wronged, but still able to fight to save their way of life! Again, the Emperor’s word ring through the light-years:

Only now, at the end, do you understand. Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side! You have paid the price for your lack of vision!

Ponder, we must, this new development.

UPDATE: From Trog

Welcome Right Wing News readers! Sit a spell and have a look around. Enjoy The Force, Southern Style.

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