Sorry, It’s Not You. It’s Me. It’s Over.

Sorry Delta. I’m giving you your frequent flier card back. We were together for so long. Our relationship started when I worked for you as a star-stuck young grad. The years just flew by (haha-pun). But as we grew old together, things began to sour and we drifted a bit.

But now, this… this is the last straw. I honestly can’t stay with someone who disrespects me as a person. I’m leaving with my head held high, with my dignity intact.

It’s not you. It’s me. I just can’t understand what you see in that T-S-A. I mean, really, they are all over you all the time. And you just, well, you stand there like nothing is happening. Please. You’re embarrassing people. Remember grandma’s rule? No PDA in public? Go get a room, or something

Sigh. We’ll always have that weekend in Nuevo Laredo.*

Before I leave, can I ask you one more little favor? Can you send all my FF miles to over to Amtrak? When I needed a big shoulder to cry on, well, they were just there and understood.

(Idea from Megan McArdle, who has her own Dear John.)

Anyone else breaking up? Just link here or leave a comment. We can commiserate together.

P.S. * Remember where the quote is from?

UPDATE: Tooooo funny.

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