In anticipation of a deflated holiday retail season due to the sucky economy and the fact that unemployment has reached Great Depression levels, the Obama Administration announced yesterday a new tax on the sales of fresh Christmas trees. Really.
Acting Administrator Shipman had the temerity to say the 15-cent mandatory Christmas tree fee “is not a tax nor does it yield revenue for the Federal government” (76 CFR 69102). The Federal government mandates that the Christmas tree sellers pay the 15-cents per tree, whether they want to or not. The Federal government directs that the revenue generated by the 15-cent fee goes to the Board appointed by the Secretary of Agriculture to carry out the Christmas tree program established by the Secretary of Agriculture. Mr. President, that’s a new 15-cent tax to pay for a Federal program to improve the image and marketing of Christmas trees.
Well, gollygeeBeav, I didn’t know that Christmas trees needed Image Enhancing Government Overreach. And BTW, it’s a tax. You can call it a “fee” until you’re red and green in the face; it’s a tax.
The article also makes no mention of cute little Hanukkah bushes, dreary atheist stick and coal displays, public education “Winter Holiday” generic botanical objects decorated with non-offensive/hand-made/non-fat broccoli chains adorned with profiles of Che Guevara, or Hezbollah semi-automatic gun trees complete with twinkling IED stars and grenade ornaments. Surely these splinter celebration groups will react in outrage at being left out of what is sure to be this season’s must-attend tradition. Mom and pop tree farms should brace themselves for an influx of #occupyObamaMas squatters who will ruin their property and chase away any remaining potential Christmas tree shoppers due to their squawky bullhorn chants and outstanding hygiene habits.
In other news, Gov. Scott Walker made Wisconsin atheist’s heads explode by referring to that tall evergreen thing to be installed in the Capitol rotunda tree as a… Christmas tree… (gasp)… in a press release.
UPDATE: Well, now the administration has backed off their plan. Is that all it takes, really? A cacophony (albeit minor, but exquisitely snarky) from “conservative media outlets” puts the President’s gears in reverse? Hey, I thought I was just another little blog. But, ahem, let me flex my muscles a bit. You. Obama. GET OFF MY LAWN.